We’ve all heard about the Antifa collective who have seized six city blocks in downtown Seattle and are now trying to set up a collective farm there to grow their own food.
As a former Soviet citizen, I feel obligated to offer their leaders advice based on practical experience.
Since none of you know how to grow seeds into beets, make Mike Bloomberg your minister of agriculture; he’ll be your best expert. Coerce him into joining your collective farm. That way, what’s yours will be his, and vice versa. That’s a lot of seed money.
For a collective farm to work you must first cleanse your ranks of wreakers, spies, saboteurs, and other enemies of the people, once you collectivize their property. Convert one of the six city blocks into a Gulag (aka concentration camp or forced labor camp), where these thoughtfelons can redeem themselves by toiling for the Common Good™ planting beets.
Then there’s an issue of some collective farmers being more successful than others. Round them all up, label them kulaks, and dekulakize them. Convert one more city block into a forced labor Gulag. Now, with so much free labor, you’re bound to have great economic success and prove to the hateful world that your way is better than their capitalist wage slavery and oppression…
